December 2014. Just a great picture of Evie trying to sit in a tiny box just like a cat. This cracks me up every time I see it.
- Translation: gymnastics, our new Saturday morning activity.
“A B C D E F Cheese”
- One day she’ll figure out the letter G, but right now I like to think it’s a song about letters AND her favorite food.
She’s so cute when she says this that I can almost keep from losing my mind as she refuses everything I offer her to eat. She also uses this one when I ask her if she would like to sleep just a *little bit* longer because Mama is so tired? “Uh, no sanks!”
- She’s obsessed with the moon. When we see it on the way to the car after school, we ask it to follow us home, then we say goodnight to it before we go in the house. The day she learns how to say it correctly will be a sad day, indeed.
“I hold da sohsages!”
- Morningstar Farms veggie sausages are a staple of our diet right now, and for some reason every time I make them she insists on holding them straight out of the freezer. I don’t mind one bit, because hearing her say this is so damn cute.
“I don like bee cheese” (said with a scrunchy face)
- Once she insisted on trying the brie I was snacking on, so of course I let her. HER FACE. So funny. And now, every time we talk about any kind of cheese, she has to remind me “I don like bee cheese. Mama eat bee cheese. I don like it.” With the scrunchiest face ever. More “bee cheese” for mama, I say.
I seem to be averaging about two posts per year. As I was reading through the past couple of years’ worth of writing and pictures, I expected to cringe as you do when reading an old journal. But instead, I loved it. I love seeing the things I felt strongly enough about to share, and what I had to say about them.
2014 Wrap Up
This year has been a blur of hard things and wonderful things and some more hard things. When we moved out to Oregon over three years ago now, the fear in the back of my mind which would probably never happen but wouldn’t it suck? was that we would move across the country away from everyone who loved us, we would have a kid, and then Tim would get deployed. Leaving me with said kid and no support. You can see where this is going.
Tim has been away more than he’s been home this year. It has been, as my ever-so-tactful grandmother would have put it, an experience.
One of the hardest things has been finding a balance between trying to stay positive and holding space for myself to feel what I feel. Enjoying the moment while acknowledging that the moment is HARD. Not wanting to wish time away, but being ok with wishing time away once in a while. Basically, trying not to lose it.
Hat’s off to single parents everywhere (not that I call myself a single parent). Evie is all the things I want her to be – wicked smart, confident, feisty, outspoken, daring, assertive. It’s just that sometimes I don’t want her to be all those things at bath time when I’m spent and exhausted and she decides she wants to jump on all the bubbles but I can’t help and how dare I try to rinse her hair I’m a monster and did I mention her favorite beverage is warm bubbly bath water?
But then sometimes when I ask for a hug she will run at me and throw her arms around my neck and say “luh you so much, mama.” So it evens out.
We are fine, we are making it work. Evie is an amazing little person and watching her grow and learn blows me away daily. We have both made friends this year, and we’ve had fun and tried new things. We have traveled around Eugene, to the coast, Davis, Cincinnati, mid-Missouri. We love each other fiercely.
I’ve been inspired this year by many women I know only from afar through their words. These women bare their souls through their beautiful writing. I’m not ready to bare my soul, but I think I’m ready to bare just a little more. A little patch of shoulder skin, maybe. That means telling more stories, even if they’re not perfect (whatever that even means for me). Maybe digging into my drafts folder and brushing off the dust and hitting ‘publish’ on something. Remembering that writing and taking pictures and sharing on this blog make me happy, and making time for it.