Some Personal Thoughts on Japanese Hot Dog Statues

I’d like to take a minute to talk about the reasons why I find this hot dog so terrifying.

1. Most obviously, he is applying ketchup and mustard to himself. This implies that he is preparing himself to be eaten. The smirk on his face, paired with this fact, makes me very antsy.

2. The way he is licking his lips makes it seem like he is going to eat himself. This is disturbing.*

3. His arms and legs seem to imply that he is half hot dog, half human. This unnatural hybrid does not sit well with me. (Plus, his hands only have 4 fingers. This only raises more questions, like that 4-toed statue in LOST.)

4. Speaking of his arms, his biceps are too toned for a hot dog. I’m afraid I would lose to this hot dog at arm wrestling.

5. Check out his eyes. Why is he gazing so menacingly at me when he’s the one about to be eaten? Right??

6. You can’t see it in this photo, but he is wearing an American flag like a cape. Is this what Japan thinks of us as a nation? A self-cannibalistic hot dog?

7. Until recently, I assumed the only creepy hot dog statue was at Tokyo Narita Airport. The other day I discovered at least two more on Kokusai Street in Naha. I can only conclude that they are building some sort of unholy hot dog army.

*But it also reminds me of this, which is awesome:

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